A LETTER FROM FATHER TO SON ON YOUR 18TH
The passage to manhood
Dear Son,
Happy 18th birthday son!
I wanted to write you a letter to commemorate this day but I realised the letter would likely get lost or degrade over time and I wanted something you could always access wherever you are in the world and no matter the time, so thought I would dedicate a web page and create a collage (gallery) of some memories of your life so far which you can develop and pass on to perhaps share with your son or daughter.
I remember your birth as if it happened yesterday, so much preparation and what if scenarios played out, we thought we had it in the bag. Little did we know so how wrong we were. Mum's pregnancy wasn't problematic all things considered however the labour was quiet long and exhausting for me never mind your mum, but we were awarded with a healthy baby boy at 4 minutes to six. Cutting the cord and with tears running down my cheeks, I looked down at your vulnerable face and thought what type of life you will experience and what paths you will choose. Nothing can prepare you as an adult to the overwhelming sense of love, protection and responsibility you have once you become a parent. In that moment, your life changes for ever. The grandparents were all very excited to welcome our newest member to our family.
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Growing up you showed traits which have made you the man you are today. You have always been caring towards others, stood up for what is right, been a brave kid and always been committed to family. As you step forward into manhood, I am confident these traits will allow you to have a happy and wholesome life. From a personal perspective, I am so pleased and honoured to call you one of my best friends as well as my son, we have shared many great days and nights together in the snowy Alps on snowboarding trips together, I will treasure those dearly until I leave this life behind.
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So in writing this, you are entering a new chapter in your life which brings great benefits but also great demands as you are now responsible for your own actions, I feel a sense of responsibility to share my own lifes lessons of being a man so I can pass this on as advice. After all, academia does not have a curriculum for such things and I only wish my dad could have offered the same to me prior to dementia taking hold. I offer these as tips for a wholesome and happy life:
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Keep learning, listening and asking questions
Keep loving family and communicating with the ones you love
Keep looking for enjoyment in work not chasing money
Keep wanting to experience new things
Keep striving to be the best person that you can be - every day 1% better
Keep focused on the big picture - don't sweat the small stuff - something I am still struggling to do myself.
Worry less about the things you cant control.
Relationships in life are like Debit bank accounts - don't try to make a withdrawl until you have provided a decent deposit - look after your sister and help each other always.
The stone that the builder refuse...(you know the rest) - don't get put off by rejection or failure or making mistakes - the person who never made a mistake, never made anything.
Don't dwell on the past, learn from your mistakes and move on, experience is the word we give our mistakes.
and finally remember its skills that get you in dressing room but attitude that gets you out on the pitch...
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I love you very much son and I am very proud of the man that you have become. It is an honour to be your dad and I wish you all the happiness and love in the world and look forward to seeing you move forward into this new chapter of your life.
Remember your mum and I are always here for you no matter what.
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Loving you always
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Dad
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